Archives For beyond judgment

Have you ever had someone look at you with absolutely no judgment?

That moment, when someone actually sees you for you, all of you, and knows that nothing is, was, or ever will be wrong with you, changes everything.

Experiencing this can be one of the most caring, nurturing and even seductive experiences in the world.

There are even psychological studies that suggest it only takes four minutes of direct eye contact for strangers to fall in love.

Recently Amnesty International took this one step further. They tested the 4 min idea in a more fragile situation; the refugee crisis in Europe and the increasing xenophobia.

They asked a number of Europeans and refugees to stare into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes.

This is what happened:

See, we’ve been trained to start every new encounter by a series of judgment to determine where this person fits into our pre-defined version of reality. We’ve basically been programmed to separate.

What if that training is what is in the way for a different future of the world?

What if oneness is actually much easier than you’ve ever imagined?

What if just a few minutes of eye contact could create that space of no judgment when you can see who this person actually…be? 

Would you be willing to try this out? Today?

Ask someone, maybe even someone you’re not having an easy time with, to share a gaze with you for four minutes.

No other instructions or distractions. Put a timer on, stay present and look into each other’s eyes.

Then see what changes for the both of you.

Dain

The Power of Non-Polarity

February 1, 2016 — 3 Comments

Anger, rage, fury, hate, judgment, and our love of trauma and drama and separation are the greatest toxic wastes on the planet. And, it’s the toxic waste we could most easily change – if we choose to.

But ONLY if we choose to.

If we want to change the world, we need to stop our reliance on such harsh, outdated modes of beingness. Unless we start asking some different questions, we don’t have a chance to fundamentally change the way we function on this planet with each other.

So what’s the antidote to the anger, rage, fury, hate, judgment, and separation?

Consciousness, non-polarity, and the willingness to change and eliminate the separation that you believe defines you.

When I watched the video of this amazing man, Antoine Leiris, who lost his wife in the Paris attacks, I was inspired again by the power of not choosing ‘sides’, of not hating, and of not choosing anger. Instead as Antoine says, he and his 10 month-old son, choosing happiness instead of hate, is more powerful than all the world’s armies.

That is the power of non-polarity.

Watch Antoine’s reading his letter, his tribute to his wife, in the short video below.

paris-attacks-dain-heer

What if something completely different is possible?

For all of us? With all of us. Together?

We no longer have to function according to the rules of this reality, because doing so has created the seemingly impossible mess we are currently in. We require something different.

Now.

Please know, it is actually a choice to not be conscious and to stay in polarity. Just as it is a choice to be conscious, to be aware and to choose the power and potency of non-polarity.

What would you like to choose?

Dain

Leading Without Followers

December 21, 2015 — 3 Comments

Would you like to see something different being created on this planet of ours?

I know I do. And I know it’s possible. What about you?

What do you know, that you’ve been pretending not to know, or denying that you know, that if you allowed yourself to know it, would change everything in our world for the greater?

Would you be willing to know it, create it, and lead your life, and this planet, to something greater?

A leader knows where they must go and is willing to go there even if nobody gets it, nobody understands it, and nobody follows.

If we’re truly going to change the face of this planet, we need to step up and have a voice.  And by voice, I don’t mean shouting from the rooftops. You may not even have to say a word. What can your very presence invite everyone around you to?

I recently spoke at an event, Wisdom Stockholm, talking about our capacity to shape the planet’s future and tools to assist in choosing it.  Click HERE or below to watch the video of my talk below.

leading-without-followers

True leaders don’t create followers. They create leaders.

Is now the time to take the lead, without expecting anyone to follow, and create what you know is possible in the world?

You can be a voice for the world. You, being you, is a contribution that can not only change someone’s world, but also change the planet.

Until next time,

Dain

 

Are you your name? Are you your body? Or your job? Your gender? The family you came from? The color of your skin?

Or, are you much, much, greater than all of those definitions? Are you actually an infinite being?

We live in a world where we keep trying to define us and everyone else. Well, here’s the thing – definition always creates limitation.

Definitions and labels confine and limit us. When we judge ourselves or others based on labels, we are choosing to separate; we are choosing finiteness.

It’s our definition of us, and the ones we buy from other people, that stop us. Because it’s our definitions of us and others that lead to judgment. And judgment is the biggest killer on the planet.

As I watched this potent and moving video, I asked myself some questions:

What if we no longer chose smallness over greatness?
What would our world look like without separation, without labels, without judgment?

As Prince Ea says in the video – “When there’s division, there will be conflict.” What if by ending the division and the separation, the conflicts that are occurring all over the world could end?

I ask you my friends, what else do you know is possible here, on this planet of ours? What would you like to choose? What choices could you make today to create a world you’d like to live in?

Awhile back, I did a google hangout on “The Potency of Being Undefined”. Imagine for a moment if you had no name, no race, no past and no definitions of who, what, when, where, how and why you were supposed to be? If you no longer had to look for a definition of yourself, or others, what possibilities would be available that you haven’t yet chosen?

You see, it’s our definition of us, that we we’re not willing to go beyond, that leads to the limited path that we can walk rather than an expansive path of infinite possibilities.

Which one would you like to choose my friends? What else do you know is possible?

Until next time,

Dain

Are you one of those people that is interested in LOTS of different things?  Maybe you’re like me and bright, shiny new things make you happy? 🙂

Have you ever jumped in the deep end of something new and found that you can swim quite well?  But then maybe later (often pretty quickly), you get bored. It’s not challenging anymore. It’s not fun.  You’re ready to move on, yet you make yourself wrong for not being able to commit, not sticking with something, and not finding your ‘purpose’ in life.

What if you didn’t have to make yourself wrong anymore? What if this ‘wrongness’ is actually a strongness?

In our culture, we’ve been told that you should feel like a failure if you don’t find your purpose – a jack of all trades and master of none.  This idea – that you have to find your destiny and your one true calling, and if you don’t figure it out, you have somehow failed or are terribly wrong…does that make you feel light or heavy?

What’s true always makes you feel lighter.  A lie always makes you feel heavier.

I have a question for you my friends – what if you are a master of all trades and a jack of none? What if you’re more brilliant and gifted than you’ve ever acknowledged? Does that make you feel lighter or heavier?

What if you didn’t have to choose just one thing? What if you didn’t have to limit your menu of choice at all?

What if instead, one of your greatest gifts, was the capacity to learn new things, to adapt, and to be able to choose anything and everything you would like to?

As I watched this amazing TED Talk about ‘multipotentialites’ (a great term created by Emilie Wapnick), I was reminded once again of the brilliance that each of us has by continuing to choose, seek, and explore more of what is possible.

Welcome to the world of infinite possibilities my friends!

Dain

For fourteen years Oprah ran a column in O Magazine called “What I Know For Sure.” 

It’s an interesting question.  In truth, the longer I have played with Access tools, the more I have found that almost everything I thought was true and real throughout my life was actually a lie or a construct.  Many things I thought I was sure of have long disappeared.  

And yet, in my time on the planet, there are some things that I actually know, really know, from deep within me that have no diminished but instead keep getting stronger and clearer.  I would like to share them with you here.  And as I do, remember that what is true for you is light.  Do any of these match what you know to be true?  And if so, I wonder what kind of planet we can create together?

I keep asking:

AND I KNOW FOR SURE…

  • That we are greater together than apart.
  • That together we can change anything–including everything that ails our planet.
  • That judgment is a choice, NOT something we’re born with.
  • That there is greatness within each of us and only a small percentage of us will have the courage to be different enough to choose it.
  • And…that the more of us that see the greatness in ourselves, the greater the world gets.
  • That choice is our greatest capacity.
  • Our differences are part of our greatness and should be embraced not eliminated.

Thank you for the gift you are in the world. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that our differences, embraced rather than judged and made wrong, will bring about a greater world.

Till next time, beautifuls!

– Dain

PS. I mention the last Being You Hangout for the year in this video — How to Survive the Holidays and Still Be You!

Here it is!

This “stand-up comedian who couldn’t stand up” does a TED Talk on how truly empowering it is to BE YOU, no matter what others say about you (especially on the internet).

Being Palestinian, Muslim, a woman, having Cerebral Palsy, and living in New Jersey are just a few of the ‘problems’ Maysoon Zayid humorously lists as reasons that should have stopped her.

What if we all “can-can” do or BE anything we choose?